Yuen: She spent 20 years as a Macalester College therapist. Take it from her — college is hard.

College students are saying goodbye to parents, settling into their dorm rooms, checking out the cafeteria and scanning their first-semester course syllabi.

Mia Nosanow would like to add one more thing to their to-do list: prioritizing their emotional and psychological well-being.

The mental health counselor saw countless students during her 20 years working at Macalester College in St. Paul before she retired in 2021. Often the students who visited her "were in a bit of pain," she recalled. "Something wasn't going right."

Nosanow frequently found herself pleading with her students to practice self-care and get eight hours of sleep a night when they were more likely to put the brunt of their focus on grades and preparing for a career.

Her new book, "The College Student's Guide to Mental Health: Essential Wellness Strategies for Flourishing in College," provides a road map to how young people can address common problems while they're living away from home for possibly the first time in their lives.

If you had a breakdown or two in college (I'm raising my hand), you might wish that you had someone like Nosanow in your corner. Here's an edited excerpt from my conversation with her.

Q: National studies say rates of depression and anxiety among college students have never been higher. Why do you think that is?

A: I think it mirrors what's happening in all age groups, just a breakdown in general where people aren't part of groups, institutions and neighborhoods the way they were decades ago. Our families are more isolated, and that's coming out in some robust research about loneliness. Then technology and cellphones pour oil on a fire that was already there.

Q: Are college students no longer joining clubs or seeking connection?

A: They are, but there's an asterisk on it. It got harder to convince students to do what's in your heart because everyone is working so hard to build their résumé. A lot of people think, "I'm in college to get this degree that'll get me a job." But I would say you're also in college to learn how to take care of yourself, who you are and what you care about.

Q: You say in your book that self-care is something that must be practiced. What's the simplest change a college student can do to improve their well-being?

A: I really like people to have a buffer zone before they go to bed. Even 20 minutes will help, but some people will need longer. You put away your day and make a list of what you have to do tomorrow, so you can let it go. And then do something more calming before you go to bed, like reading a book, listening to music, chatting with a friend, or watching an old-fashioned TV show. It will make you feel better and your sleep will be better-quality.

Q: How can a student overcome imposter syndrome?

A: When you start to have a thought like, "I don't belong here," or "I'm too dumb to be here," it's like poison. You need to start labeling it: "Oh, that's my imposter syndrome." About 70% of people have it. It doesn't mean you have to listen to it. I would tell those students, "They don't let people into Macalester unless they deserve to be here." All colleges are like that: They want you there. People come up with all sorts of mean things they say to themselves, so you have to counteract it.

Q: How can first-year students prepare for the unprecedented amount of freedom and lack of structure they'll likely face?

A: It's a challenge for most people. One thing they can do is make a schedule. Fill in your calendar with when your classes are and block out when you'll be studying and getting the work done.

Also, know your values. I may want to have fun at a party. But do I want to have one drink or 10 shots? Do I want to go to a party every weekend, or do I want to go to a movie with three friends on a Friday night?

Q: Speaking of drinking, what should parents who have kids still in high school do to prepare them for the party scene in college?

A: The research shows that kids who get values around drinking specifically from parents tend to listen to those values. So families who talk about it more overtly, it goes better for their kids. You could say, "If you drink, we don't want you to drink to excess. We always want you to have someone who's the safe driver." Talk and make plans.

Q: It seems that parents today are more connected to their kids than ever. What advice do you have for new empty-nesters who are finding this transition difficult?

A: Take care of yourself because your kids are watching you. When they can see you taking care of yourself, that gives them relief that they can take care of themselves.

I also encourage parents to communicate about how much they're going to talk to their kids while they're away. Some students are getting 20 texts a day from Mom or Dad, and it's interrupting their lives. Some kids love hearing from their parents that much. Others want to connect once a week on the phone or on Zoom.

Make a plan before your kids leave about how often you will communicate. Then a month in, check in to see how the plan is going.

Q: You have two sons now in their 20s, and both went to college. What insight did you gain by learning about their experiences, needs and insecurities while they were at school?

A: Instead of rushing to label something as anxiety or depression or something really big, it's OK to say, at least in some cases, that this is developmental. College is hard. It causes stress. You're struggling with "Who are my friends this semester?" or "How do I break up with my girlfriend?"

I knew that my kids were loved and had a lovely upbringing, and they still struggled. But the struggle is the normal part. You're supposed to struggle.