A beginner's guide to downsizing

For most dream-seeking retirees, moving is not on their bucket list.

More than three-quarters of older American homeowners plan to stay in their current home and age in place, according to a survey by Redfin, a tech-based real estate brokerage.

That's wishful thinking, said Lauren Bednar, owner of Oasis Senior Advisors. Her senior placement agency helps older adults navigate their way through the often-fraught process of downsizing their life into an age-appropriate home.

"I don't think it's feasible for anybody to stay in their home [throughout old age]," Bednar said. "There are very few that can make that actually work."

Barbara Mednick is in her mid-60s and still healthy and active, but she knows trying to stay in her two-story Shoreview house isn't prudent, especially after the sudden death of her husband early last year.

So for the past year, she's been sifting and sorting through her belongings accumulated through more than three decades in that home. She's also shopping for a smaller condominium or townhouse that'll better suit her next phase of life.

Here are lessons from a downsizer:

Don't wait until a crisis

For many baby boomers, aging in place is a noble goal. But for a demographic that's already dealing with so many other unwelcome changes, including fragile health and limited finances, it's not always a realistic option.

For most homeowners in that generation, there are few financial incentives to move, Redfin said, because the majority don't have a mortgage but do have a lot of equity. For those who do have a mortgage, it's usually at a much lower interest rate than they'd have if they sold and bought a new home.

Mednick can afford her house in Shoreview, but even before her husband died, she was ready to consolidate.

"I had been wanting to downsize for about the past five years, but my spouse was slow to make that decision," Mednick said.

Bednar said she often sees clients who come to her "way too late."

Lisa Bevens owns Home to Sweet Home, a Stillwater company that does everything from planning to packing to moving to unpacking. She agreed with Bednar, saying it's much better to make the move while you're still in control.

"Things are going to happen that can't be predicted," Bevens said.

A move is far more difficult, she said, when you're in the midst of a health crisis, for example.

"When you're not an active part of the process anymore, it's a terrible feeling," she said.

Mednick said that after retiring from 42 years in corporate communications, she was ready to focus more of her time on painting and less time on home maintenance and yard work. It's tough to say goodbye to a place that holds so many memories, she said, but she knows the parting won't be any easier with time.

"Some people wait longer," she said. "But you don't want to wait forever either because it's going to be harder."

The first step

There's no right or wrong way to start the downsizing process, and every situation is unique.

Bednar said any call is a good one, whether it's to a real estate agent or placement service or even a senior care facility.

"Just start somewhere," she said. "Make the call, even if you don't know if it's the right call, to start the process."

Mednick started by calling Jeff Feldman and Joe Allen, a pair of real estate agents who have worked with many downsizers. As Mednick is decluttering her house, the agents are showing her listings. Seeing what's out there is helping Mednick envision a new life and decide what to keep from her old one.

Talking with an elder-care attorney, financial adviser or a senior placement adviser are also good calls to make. Bednar said many age-restricted communities have long waiting lists, so she encourages seniors to start visiting them well before it's time to move.

"It's never too early to start having conversations and looking at places," she said.

There's a whole industry aimed at helping seniors downsize, ranging from sort-and-pack companies to those that physically do the move.

The National Association of Senior & Specialty Move Managers (NASMM) is a national trade group that maintains a list of companies that help with all aspects of downsizing, including organizing and simplifying your current home.

Bevens, a director at NASMM, said that while most of her clients are seniors, she's receiving more calls from younger generations who are thinking proactively.

"People who say, 'I don't know when I'm going to move, but I want to start getting ready' are way less stressed out than those who say 'I need assisted living, and I need to do this ASAP,'" she said.

She often acts as an emotional buffer between seniors and their caregivers during what are often tense discussions.

"We're there alongside them acting as a liaison throughout the whole process," she said. "We can be that neutral third party."

Sort, sift and winnow

After 30-plus years in their big house, Mednick and her husband had a lifetime of belongings. As an audio engineer, he had rooms full of electronic equipment — rooms full of stuff Barbara Mednick now no longer needs.

Decluttering has helped her process her grief and gain a better sense of what kind of space she'll need in her next home.

She's been especially thoughtful and methodical. She read Marie Kondo's book, "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up," and Tuesdays have become her declutter day because the garbage truck comes around Wednesday.

"I put it on the calendar to hold myself accountable, plus I also plotted out additional days to take things to Goodwill, to recycling, etc.," she said.

She takes pictures of items that trigger memories but are no longer needed and has given items with sentimental value to people she knows who will use them. She gave a wooden train set her mother bought in Europe and a painting she made for her son's room to a friend with a small child.

"Then it doesn't feel like you're just throwing it away," she said.

She also has a "decluttering buddy" who is going through a similar life change — someone to share in the physical and emotional burden.

She hired a local company, Meat & Potatoes Organizing, to help sort, toss and pack her house room by room. She has boxes labeled keep, donate, sell, recycle or trash. She advises to start with whatever seems easiest so you have a sense of accomplishment early.

"When sorting through photos and sentimental items, try to detach emotionally as much as possible," Mednick said. "If you can't decide, set items aside with a question mark and keep moving."

Buy first, sell later

Deciding where to move is one of the most difficult and important decisions in the process. Seniors have a wide range of options, from renting a traditional apartment to moving into an age-restricted building that offers assisted living when needed.

Mednick wants to buy a townhouse or condo in part because she'll have the option of using that equity to pay for care, should she need it.

"While I hope to be as independent as long as I can," she said, "I also want to have this investment if I need to move into an assisted-living facility in the future."

Bednar said for people who are 60 to 75 years old, buying a condo or townhouse often makes a lot of sense. Most of her clients, though, are in their mid-70s to mid-80s, more likely to need specialized care and going directly into housing with on-site care available.

Bevens offered one more critical piece of advice: Move before you sell your house. Living in a house that's for sale is intrusive, and this also gives you more time to decide what to keep.

"All you have to think about are the positive things," she said. "You're focused on 'What I am bringing?' You don't have to worry about what I'm not bringing."