A few days ago, I called Justin Sutherland's lawyer, John Daly, and told him about my plan to write a column on his legal case and the fact that famous men often get a pass when they're accused of harming women.

His message was clear: Sutherland was remorseful after he'd pleaded guilty recently to a felony count of threatening to shoot his girlfriend, stemming from a violent incident over the summer. And he was adamant that Sutherland said that he never physically abused the woman or used the gun to harm her, even though witnesses contradicted those claims.

Sutherland, an acclaimed St. Paul chef, even sent me a statement that included a vow to change.

But just 24 hours later, he was arrested on Thursday for violating a no-contact order with the woman, who was with him at a local Halloween store, according to St. Paul police.

This development will prompt some people to dismiss the summer ordeal. That would be a mistake. Even if the woman involved made a choice to connect with Sutherland — we do not know the details yet — she is still the victim in this case.

The complexities of leaving a relationship that involves allegations of intimate partner violence are serious. According to Respond, a Massachusetts-based anti-domestic violence organization, "it takes an average of [seven] attempts for a survivor to leave their abuser and stay separated for good."

Sutherland picked his ego over his no-contact order and the woman's safety, which is why he's once again in a legal predicament. Even if she'd decided to join him and ignore the no-contact order, Sutherland — and others like him — are in no position to declare that they're safe human beings under these circumstances.

Yet our most talented, attractive, wealthy, intelligent, athletic and politically powerful men often escape the full ramifications of the trauma, disruption and pain they leave in their wake when they hurt women they claim to love.

Sutherland's celebrity status should not absolve him of consequences in this case, but perhaps it already has. His plea agreement in the felony case allows him to avoid jail time and calls for two years' probation, community service and a chemical dependency evaluation, assuming a judge accepts those terms at his sentencing on Dec. 13. He is also barred from owning a firearm for the foreseeable future.

The particulars of the accusations against him should not be overlooked.

According to the criminal complaint from the summer incident, a woman said Sutherland grabbed a gun, threatened to kill her and struck her with the weapon. Police arrested Sutherland on their second trip to a St. Paul apartment that night. Both visits involved claims that Sutherland had choked the woman. A witness who talked to the woman via FaceTime said she saw her sister being choked by the restaurateur, who has opened multiple establishments throughout the Twin Cities and earned national acclaim through appearances on popular TV shows. She said she also heard Sutherland say, "I wish you were dead right now." The alleged victim subsequently told police that Sutherland had, in fact, put his hands around her neck. And a neighbor said he saw the woman with her hands up as Sutherland entered the building with a gun.

Sutherland has continued to deny that any physical violence unfolded that evening.

In a conversation last week, his lawyer acknowledged that Sutherland "said some things he shouldn't have" that summer night. And he added that Sutherland's problems with alcohol had contributed to the incident and prompted him to go to rehab. Sutherland had changed, Daly said.

Sutherland later sent me this statement through his attorney, first apologizing to the woman, her family, his friends and family, and his fans:

"... This summer an alcohol fueled argument escalated into something that I deeply regret. I said and did things that are unacceptable and I take full responsibility for my actions. Although there was never any physical violence I am deeply remorseful for the fear and trauma caused by my anger. I've since been given an opportunity to step back, reflect, assess, heal and grow. Although the path was unfortunate, the destination was necessary. I've been able to embrace sobriety, spirituality, and integrity. I've been able to find myself again and love myself again. The clarity and perspective I now possess is priceless and has fueled my determination and dedication. It's no coincidence that this next chapter of my life begins as I turn 40 and I can't wait to live the rest of my life as the best version of myself I've ever been and continue to give back to my community."

Bullshit. Then, and especially now.

It's clear Sutherland's primary concern has been the impact of his legal case on his career. Plus, he knows he has the power to shape the narrative about the next chapter of his life.

Influential men always do. Sutherland's success and charm could still provide the platform for him to earn an abundance of grace, and an apparently consensual meeting with the alleged victim will only enhance those ambitions. But those accused of domestic violence should not have the ability to proclaim their redemption. They're not reliable sources.

The criminal complaint from the summer incident states that the alleged victim told police Sutherland had been physically and verbally abusive in the past. It's a familiar story. Too familiar. According to the National Domestic Hotline, 4 out of 5 victims of intimate partner violence from 1994 to 2010 were women. And more than three-quarters of the female victims ages 18 to 49 were "previously victimized by the same offender."

Thursday's arrest complicates Sutherland's legal case and perceptions about his summer encounter with his girlfriend. But it doesn't change the facts.

Sutherland seems more worried about his future than anything — or anyone — else.