Opening Friday: Marlon Wayans offers his skewed take on the "Fifty Shades" phenomenon, describing his character, Christian Black, thusly: "He's pretty bad in bed; he's pretty basic. … Every time the [original film] had something serious or intense, we put a joke there." Kali Hawk is the spunky reporter Hannah, who, Wayans says, "has more edge" than the mousy Ana. "Fifty Shades of Black" (rated R for sexual content, graphic nudity and language) wasn't screened, but we're pretty sure you can guess how it goes.

Also opening, after years of fits and starts, is "Jane Got a Gun" (rated R for violence and language), starring Natalie Portman as a frontier woman who turns to a former lover for help in saving her husband. Michael Fassbender was slated to play the lover and Joel Edgerton the chief outlaw; Fassbender dropped out and Edgerton took his place; Edgerton was replaced by Jude Law, who was replaced by Bradley Cooper, who was replaced by Ewan McGregor. Oh, and the director, Lynne Ramsay, went AWOL from the set; she too was replaced. And then the studio (Relativity Media) went bankrupt! It's a minor miracle this film made it to theaters, but it never made it to the screening room.