Of the thousands of grieving families Merlin H. Wilson comforted in his 62 years in the funeral business, his widow remembers one most fondly: her own.

On Jan. 1, 1951, Betty Lou Fonnier walked into the Barney Anderson Funeral home in Minneapolis and met with Wilson, then 24, to make arrangements for the funeral of her grandmother, Minnie, who had died the previous night.

"He had such integrity, such humility, and he was totally a gentle man," she said.

They became friends, which led to a 60-year marriage, two daughters and five grandchildren.

"Out of her death came our life," Betty Lou Wilson said Monday from their Edina home. "He could sit with families very sorrowful with grief, but he could just bring them around. He just had a talent for being with people, and he loved his work."

Wilson, believed to be the oldest active funeral director in Minnesota, died last Thursday after a monthlong battle with cancer. He was 85 and worked through Thanksgiving before his cancer was diagnosed in December.

Born in Milaca in 1926, Wilson would assist the local funeral director with death calls during high school. After graduating from Milaca High School in 1944, he joined the Navy, served on four battleships and worked with U.S. Occupation Forces in Japan after World War II.

Using the GI Bill, he studied mortuary science at the University of Minnesota, received his funeral director license in 1950 and went on to mentor countless young funeral directors during their so-called practicum years. His career began as an apprentice at White Funeral Home and included stints at Barney Anderson Funeral Home, the division manager job at Welander-Quist-Davies Funeral Homes and manager of three Werness Brothers chapels.

"In 1989, we thought he'd retired for good, but 22 years ago he joined Waterston First Memorial/Cremation Society of Minnesota," his wife said.

He was also a skilled craftsman and carpenter who built oak altars and podiums for funeral homes, and stands for flowers and church registries. His last project was a solar-powered bird feeder that hangs behind their home in the shape of a lighthouse.

Wilson was active in the Minneapolis Jaycees, Edina Lions Club, Minnehaha Masonic Lodge and Mount Olivet Lutheran Church in Minneapolis. In addition to his wife, he is survived by his daughters Lynn (Lyndy) Benson and Laurie Wilson Spencer of Edina, and five grandchildren.

A memorial service has been held.

Curt Brown • 612-673-4767