TOKYO — I have found a version of Twitter that doesn't lead directly to misanthropy.

It's Japanese Twitter. It's glorious. Because I can't read it.

I arrived in Tokyo on Tuesday afternoon, Japan time, and immediately opened Twitter to see what was happening. I find Twitter particularly useful in updating sports developments and keeping me informed as to whether our Capitol has been overthrown recently.

Then I started getting Tweets in Japanese. From, apparently, Japanese companies. In, apparently, Japanese.

Japanese marketing is highly efficient and wants me to purchase products whether or not I know what products it wants me to purchase.

It's a fair tradeoff. I don't want marketing on my Twitter, but these Tweets are the only ones guaranteed not to raise my blood pressure.

So … I bought some Japanese stuff. Not sure exactly what. I'm sure it will all work out.