Downtown Minneapolis abounds with Christmas trees or holiday trees or seasonal timber. But not all are worth a trip.

We took a random and no doubt incomplete survey of skyway-accessible arboreal displays. Unlike the days of yore when fresh-cut firs were trucked downtown to stand shivering in Bridge Square until all the needles fell off, these are synthetic trees that spend the year in the basement or garage, only to spring up fully formed one morn as office workers trudge to the elevators.

Most forlorn

The pair of trees at U.S. Bank Plaza (200 S. 6th St.) are on a rectangle that's covered with fake snow and some oversized pine cones. They are shoved in the corner on the 6th Street side, as if they are having a time-out. If you cross the atrium, you will find a duplicate shoved in another corner on the 5th Street side. Utterly underwhelming.

Holiday wonder: 2/10.

Most malnourished

A resident described the five yule trees at the SPS Tower (333 S. 7th St.) ruefully as "Charlie Brown trees," and he was correct.

They stand on the skyway overlooking the atrium, looking scrawny and a bit nervous, as if they hadn't expected to get the job and don't know quite how to act. The atrium lights sometimes have Christmas hues to assist the holiday spirit, but the fake snow looks unconvincing against the cold black stone.

James Lileks
An oddly located set of trees sit in the corner at U.S. Bank Plaza in downtown Minneapolis.

Holiday wonder: 3/10.

Most satisfying for statisticians

The five starless Christmas trees on the ground floor at Fifth Street Towers (105 S. 5th St.) are shaped like a bell curve. They also have some heavy flocking that is meant to indicate snow, or perhaps a spattering of wet plaster. The silver and turquoise blue bulbs are popular hues for institutional trees, perhaps because red and green are seen as cliches.

Holiday wonder: Between 3/10 and 7/10.

Nice but somehow underwhelming

The trees at the IDS Center at 80 S. 8th St. are a bit spindly. The lights on two of them are oversized and there are too many of them. The adorned trees sit on a bare stage with a few other potted ones, looking like groupies for a minor celebrity. The trees seem to think highly of themselves, but look like someone who got up on a box and started speaking loudly, expecting lots of attention. However, they are a nice backdrop for noontime concerts.

If you ask Google about the height of the trees, AI Overview confidently asserts that "The IDS Center Christmas tree in Minneapolis, Minnesota, is 792 feet tall." This is actually the height of the IDS Center itself, so do not show up expecting a tree as tall as the tower.

Holiday wonder: 7/10.

Most awing

The City Center tree at 33 S. 6th St. is enormous, reaching three stories high. And it's absolutely perfect in proportions and decorations. It almost looks like something you'd find in an animated movie. What sets it apart is a lighted and roomy tunnel at the base. You can walk through it, exclaiming oohs and aahs and taking selfies.

The rest of the tableau is rather inert, alas. The atrium is chilly and sparse, making the towering tree look less festive than it really is.

Holiday wonder: 8/10.

Best of all

It's the tree in the atrium at Capella Tower (225 S. 6th St.). Like its City Center brother, it is three stories tall, but the setting is far superior. It's surrounded by a round atrium that mirrors the shape of the tree. The space is more compact than City Center's, giving the tree, adorned with gold ornaments and ribbons and tiny lights, greater presence. The star on top points to a light sculpture that hangs in the atrium year-round, a wire cloud of bright bulbs. So the tree seems to be pointing up to an array of stars.

Holiday wonder: 10/10.