There's a 20-year-old comedy film revolving around sports called "Fever Pitch." As that genre goes, it's kind of fun, with Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon as the lead characters.
One reason for its appeal is the timing: Fallon played an obsessed Red Sox fan, doomed to disappointment. It was due to be released in 2004, and then the Red Sox won a World Series for the first time 86 years — preceded by the incredible comeback from 3-0 vs. the dreaded Yankees in the ALCS.
There was some re-shooting done, and it was released in early April 2005, to coincide with the start of a new baseball season.
Which gets us to my favorite 5 seconds of the one hour, 44 minutes: Uncle Carl, played by the great New England comic Lenny Clarke, is dropping off an enthused "Ben" after the young nephew's first Red Sox game.
Uncle Carl looks across the convertible and says: "Careful, kid. They'll break your heart."
Which takes us to a home in Minneapolis on Monday night. My friend Eric has a couple of young sons, the oldest being 7 and carrying the middle name Harmon in honor of Mr. Killebrew.
Harmon has already become a devotee of Minnesota sports teams, and he was allowed some extra TV time on Monday night to watch the Vikings.
At 8:34 p.m., I received this text from Eric: "Young Harmon is experiencing the agony of being a Minnesota sports fan. He's crying in the other room."
A while later, there was an update. As Mom was getting him settled for the night, Harmon had this question: "When is God going to start being nice to Minnesota?"
For Harmon, this Vikings-based disillusionment can't go back further than January 2023, when he was 5 and the Vikings (13-4) were upset 31-24 by quarterback Daniel Jones and the New York Giants in a playoff opener at the Zygidome.
There were more-experienced Vikings followers dealing with defeatism as the Vikings offered up their Sam Darnold-led clown show on Monday night in another dome, this one located in the neutral site of Glendale, Ariz.
Tom Linnemann, Melrose, Minn.'s, own and an outstanding quarterback at St. John's in the late '90s, sent this from his home in Toronto:
"Darnold is late on everything. Late to step up in the pocket, late to get rid of the ball in a messy pocket, late to get the out route to the sideline and it gets picked. Late, late, late."
Finally, at 9:44 p.m. our time: "Late late late late late," with an alarm clock emoji serving as the punctuation.
A mere 4,650 miles distant from Toronto, in Honolulu, my oldest son, Jim — a retired lieutenant colonel from the USMC — waited until game's end to make his concession.
I recall viewing the Vikings' second Super Bowl loss (a 24-7 mismatch vs. Miami on Jan. 13, 1974) and Jim suffering greatly in comparison to his kid brother, Chris. We were watching at Mike Augustin's apartment in Kellogg Square in St. Paul.
If only Uncle Augie had taken Jim to a quiet place and said, "Careful, kid. They'll break your heart," perhaps much suffering could have been spared.
Alas, once the 27-9 beatdown from the Rams was complete, this message arrived from Jim the Jarhead:
"I no longer have hope when they are going into the playoffs — and last week's whooping didn't hurt as an indicator of what would happen. There is always a sense of relief when it is over, whether sitting in my barracks in Cherry Point [N.C.] in 1989, or sitting on my couch in Hawaii tonight, or everything in between."
My choice of taking in Monday's no-contest was the Lookout Bar and Grill in Maple Grove, which has one of the most surprising locations for a metro area saloon you're going to encounter. I was there for a Vikings' regular-season game a few years back and it was jammed in the front room, the back room and the screened-in big porch — filled with Purple hardcores.
What's amazing is this bar sits in huge neighborhoods of homes and no other businesses. That's because the Lookout was there first, in 1958, when Robert Kinnan — a former military pilot — decided a saloon on the 40 acres of prairie owned by the family could do some business.
"This was the middle of nowhere when my dad opened up," said Mike Kinnan, now the proprietor.
First the homes started to be built, and then in recent times, less than a mile away came the sprawling shopping development that covers square miles off 694 in Maple Grove.
There were 100 or so football watchers there before kickoff on Monday night, a very small crowd by the Lookout's Vikings game standards.
"Putting the game on Monday night killed us," Kinnan said. "Our crowd is working people. A lot of 'em get up at 5:30 in the morning to start their day. If this was a Saturday game, or Sunday afternoon, we'd be full.
"Even our Pit of Misery group isn't here tonight."
Enlighten us?
"Bunch of customers and Vikings fans … they always take over the end of the bar down when you first come in the door," Kinnan said. "Chuck Thomas is always there. I think he came up with the name to celebrate many years of being Vikings fans."
The Pit of Misery. Perfect.