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I like to think of myself as a Dickensian schoolmaster from the Victorian era when it comes to my children's screen time. My children — ages 15, 13 and 10 — are allowed two hours of screen time on weekdays and five hours on weekends. Does this sound strict to you? It's a limit I set with the best of intentions, and it's a limit I never enforce.

This lack of accountability means my 10-year-old son has developed an almost mystical devotion to Fortnite. Meanwhile, one of my daughters has thrown herself into content creation as if she has signed an unbreakable contract with social media gods. And my other daughter has developed a Ph.D.-level commitment to watching flying squirrel videos.

But the issue isn't them. It's me. I, too, am addicted to my phone. It's difficult to stand in moral judgment when I can barely peel myself away from doom-scrolling the news, stalking Zillow real estate listings for homes I'll never buy, reading long-winded product reviews on Amazon for items I have no intention of purchasing and watching random caving disaster stories on YouTube.

Growing up in the 1980s and '90s, things were different. I was a Gen-Xer raised by refugee parents who were too busy working on building us a life in America to micromanage my media consumption. I watched an unhealthy amount of television — PBS for the culture, MTV for the rebellion, and old Cary Grant movies for reasons I still don't fully understand. And yet, I turned out OK, didn't I? So my kids will turn out OK.

But my husband, Brian, doesn't think so. Brian, bless him, is the enforcer of screen limits. He sets them through a parental app to monitor and restrict usage. Meanwhile, I am often sitting across from him watching a YouTube video about vacationing in Bali.

In my defense, it is so hard to figure out the right amount of screen time for my family these days. I use my phone to quickly answer work emails throughout the day while I wait in line for coffee at Starbucks or while working out. I use my phone to text my sibling group about my summer vacation so I don't have to text — or worst, call — all seven of them to explain my plans. As for my children, they also use screens at school to do assignments, take quizzes and do research. Technology, and therefore screens, are integrated into their school experience. After all, students have moved beyond slate boards and chalk as their technology. How can you put a limit on technology that makes life easier and better?

The American Academy of Pediatrics believes children and adolescents can have many kinds of interactions with technology. So rather than setting a guideline for specific time limits on digital media use, it recommends considering the quality of interactions with digital media and not just the quantity, or amount of time. It updated its media use recommendations in 2016 to not give a set screen-time limit.

Just when I thought the American Academy of Pediatrics supports my no-screen-limit philosophy, the organization also reported that excessive screen time is associated with increased risks of sleep disturbances, which can affect mood, behavior and overall mental health.

In 2021, the National Institutes of Health conducted a study showing that children who spent more than seven hours per day on screens had premature thinning of the brain's cortex, which is responsible for critical thinking and reasoning.

So now I find myself at a crossroads. Do I accept that this is simply how modern childhood works, that the battle was lost the moment we handed our toddlers iPads to keep them quiet in restaurants? Or do I, at long last, rise to the occasion and become the screen-time enforcer? Meaning that when my son has been locked out of his devices for going over his daily limit and comes to me in full Oliver Twist mode with his hands out pleading for more screen time, I will answer, "No screen time for you"? I have no idea what the right course of action is, but first — let me just check my phone real quick.